Conversations Ryan and I have had today

I.

RYAN AND KATIE, SITTING ON THEIR VAST SECTIONAL SOFA.  RYAN READS KINDLE. KATIE INTERNETS, WEARING CASHMERE SWEATER THAT RYAN’S MOTHER SENT HIM FOR CHRISTMAS.

RYAN, EYEBALLING SWEATER
How’s that sweater working out for you.

KATIE
Oh, pretty good.

RYAN, GIVING STINK EYE
.

KATIE
It’s nice and soft.

RYAN
I bet it’s warm.

KATIE
Yeah, but not too, you know?  Just right.

RYAN, EYES NARROWED
Perhaps we can share it.

KATIE
Joint custody!  That’ll be good practice for later.

RYAN
.

KATIE
I’m going to blog about this conversation!

II.

RYAN SITS ON SOFA, READING. KATIE GETS UP, EMPTY BEER MUG IN HAND, AND STARTS TOWARD KITCHEN.

KATIE
HEY where’s the rest of dis beer?

RYAN
What.

KATIE
This beer!  You poured me!  Where’s the rest of it?

RYAN
(sighs, gets up, walks past KATIE into kitchen)

KATIE, FOLLOWING RYAN INTO KITCHEN
What?  What?  Where is it?  Where’d you put it? I don’t see it on the counter.  Is it in the fridge?  Did you put it back in the fridge?  Oooooh I wanna drink my beeeeer my beer my beeeeer WHERE IS IT I WANT IT NOW NOW NOW NOOOOOW MAH BEERZ

RYAN
(draws curtains)

KATIE
Whaddya doin?

RYAN
I must kill you now.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Conversations Ryan and I have had today

  1. dave

    i had a really nice cashmere sweater i got at salvation army and my mom made me give it to her

  2. Josh

    Often i am amazed how little i speak if i dont interact with the people i work with. Its good to know what kind of conversations i would be having if someone was nearby!

    Josh
    PCV M20 Mongolia

  3. If and when I die, I hope I come back as a fly with a time machine, so I can go back in time and live on your wall.

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